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Been feeling discouraged and frustrated lately because I keep getting paired up with more skilled and experienced students (L3s on the cusp of L4) in my L2 classes, of which I’ve only done 15. I’ve gassed out a lot (despite doing cardio on my off-days) and gotten banged up pretty good. Altho’ said training partners have generally been patient with me, I can tell they’re wishing THEY had a more skilled person to train with.
I also feel very much an outsider at my KMW facility. Unlike others, I have a family and other commitments and do not have hours upon hours to train and stack classes and do Crossfit. Therefore, I always feel like everyone in my classes already knows each other and I’m the little middle-aged dude who gets knocked halfway across the room when holding the kick shield.
I know that sparring is a crucial part of m.a. training, but I feel like I need to ease slowly into it, rather than just get dumped into a “go 100%” situation like I was in class this evening. It’s scary and I hate getting clocked by more skilled partners.
I don’t want to quit, and am afraid people will just tell me I need to suck it up and get tough, but I could really use some encouraging words…
Re: Discouraged…
One of the best ways to learn and improve is training with people better than yourself. If L3s (almost L4s) are training in a lower level class, then it’s safe to assume they are ok training with people who are also lower level. In my experience, Krav people love other Krav people. I’ve been lucky enough to train at several schools in the US and one overseas and have had nothing but positive experiences at all of them. Even this past week, I went up to train at a school in Ohio. Those students welcomed me into their classes and as their training partner.
As for sparring, absolutely ease into it. Drills are a great way to start.
So, chin up (err, actually down) and enjoy training! 🙂
Re: Discouraged…
Well said, Pink. Seriously, probably the worst thing you could do is compare yourself to others. You end up pushing yourself beyond your current means and you could hurt yourself (or partner) in doing so. Like Pink said, if the 3’s are training with the 2’s, they’re doing so with the mindset that they’re, shall we say, student-coaching the lower-level folks. So just do your thing. Go at your own pace, and talk to your partners and instructors. There’s no harm in saying you need to ease up and go with someone else more your speed. I’ve talked to my partners because I’ve been going super slow (due to not knowing the material, or just simply new) and they’ve all been totally fine with it. In fact, became even MORE helpful. So just talk to your partners/instructors if you need to slow down. Go at your pace. And don’t think about everyone else; they’re too busy paying attention to their own training!
Stay safe!
Re: Discouraged…
It all boils down to perspective. When you use phrases like “I can tell…” or “I always feel…” or “I’m afraid people will…”, these are all negative projections. Basically you’re already placing yourself in a no-win situation – with yourself.
To add some context, do you remember when you were back in L1 classes right before you were going to test for L2? I bet you were pretty darn good at all L1 techniques and movements. And I assume you were paired up with new students who had less experience than you. How did you feel towards them? Most likely you saw yourself in them and were quite pleased about how much you’ve grown.
Everybody is different and are at different skill set, even amongst people in the same
levels. This is based on athletic ability, age, past experience, etc. Going back to what I said earlier, you are only responsible for yourself. Trust me when I say that you WANT to be paired up with someone who is better than you. It forces you to try harder and step up your game. That’s the only way to progress.Again, it’s all about perspective.
– Oh you gassed out in class tonight? Well at least you got a great workout in, and you’ve identified an area in your game that you need to work on.
– Oh everybody in your class already knows each other? This isn’t high school – does the level of popularity dictate your skill level in Krav? I didn’t think so. If making friends and knowing the people in your class means a lot to you, then start introducing yourself to other people.
– Oh you think sparring is scary and can’t handle people going at you 100%? Let me share a secret w/ you – EVERYBODY gets scared while sparring. The more realistic the training in the safe confines of your school will better prepare you for real life attacks from people on the street who will go 110% at you. Also there’s nothing wrong to tell your partner to ease up and not go 100% at you while sparring.
I’m not here to tell you to suck it up and get tough – but I’m not going to blow smoke up your butt either – LOL. 🙂 I firmly believe that once you change your perspective a bit, you can use these negative feelings that you’re experiencing to your advantage by turning them into positive ones. And just like bad habits, good habits and positive thinking have a snowball effect.
Best of luck in your training!
Re: Discouraged…
quote DoubleStrike:Also there’s nothing wrong to tell your partner to ease up and not go 100% at you while sparring.Asking your partner to help you get better does a couple of things. It reminds them that you’re less experienced and that you may need things slowed down a hair so you can get used to seeing and reacting. It also establishes that you aren’t there to prove anything. In some groups weird dynamics pop up when people aren’t sure what their partner is up to. Asking that they work with you eliminates any doubts.
Re: Discouraged…
I don’t have much to add that hasn’t been said already. Everyone gasses out… eventually. The point is to always push yourself every time you train so that you can improve. IMO it’s better to gas out than to coast through class. Just gas out safely… no need to injure yourself. Also, try to wear your mouth guard during warm ups. This will help your conditioning by either forcing you to breathe through your nose (which is good) or by restricting the amount of air you get through your mouth and thus conditioning your lungs to work with less air.
Re: Discouraged…
Be wary of how much cardio you do in your off days. You may not be giving your body, or your mind, a chance to recover.
I just started Sayoc Kali and I tell my partners all the time “I’m going to go slow, please critique me”. If they aren’t ok with it, they haven’t told me yet; even if they weren’t, I’m not going to go faster for their sake when I’m feeding-unless they’re training to receive.
They’re responsible for how they feel about training WITH you; they aren’t supposed to be training ON you.
Don’t let your training experience come second to someone else training to do the same thing. Assist the partner as needed, but take some time to work on yourself.Re: Discouraged…
Remember the old saying “the only person you compete with is yourself”. Even at the top levels of Krav there is always going to be someone better, such is life. The key thing is to know that you are doing your personal best, we cant ask more of you than that.
Re: Discouraged…
Strangely enough, I was at my daughter’s school last week in the library and was perusing a kids’ book on martial arts. One page showed two kids sparring and said something like “Carla knows she doesn’t have to try to be better than Jason. She only has to try to be better than she was last class.” And there you have it.
Re: Discouraged…
Sounds like someone is trying to tell you something Magpie! 🙂
If you have a minute, Google Morihei Ueshiba Quotes. He created the system of Aikido and wrote a number of very encouraging thoughts that many people in the martial arts community find helpful. Also there is a great book called “Aikido for Life” by Gaku Homma, whilst its on Aikido not Krav, it is a great book for any student of any discipline because it talks openly about what are you expecting to gain from martial arts, what your strengths and weaknesses are and heaps of stuff that helps keep things in focus which apply just as much to Krav as any other system.
Re: Discouraged…
quote Seraphs Coal:Sounds like someone is trying to tell you something Magpie! 🙂If you have a minute, Google Morihei Ueshiba Quotes. He created the system of Aikido and wrote a number of very encouraging thoughts that many people in the martial arts community find helpful. Also there is a great book called “Aikido for Life” by Gaku Homma, whilst its on Aikido not Krav, it is a great book for any student of any discipline because it talks openly about what are you expecting to gain from martial arts, what your strengths and weaknesses are and heaps of stuff that helps keep things in focus which apply just as much to Krav as any other system.
I just read these and a lot of them are pretty damn good, if I must say. Excellent link, Seraph.:beer:
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