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A woman’s dictionary
Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you’re right, but he just hasn’t realized it yet.
Airhead (er*hed) n. What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman.
Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but, he, “made the dinner.”
Blonde jokes (blond joks) n. Jokes that are short so men can understand them.
Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope) n. Gotta get married in a church.
Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n. An appliance designed to eat socks.
Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n. A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms.
Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n. The last two minutes of a football game.
Exercise (ex*er*siz) v. To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.
Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n. What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.
Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n. Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again. See “Magician.”
Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n. Similar to a black hole in space-if he goes in, he isn’t coming out anytime soon.
Childbirth (child*brth) n. You get to go through 36 hours of contractions; he gets to hold your hand and say “focus,…breath…push…”
Lipstick (lip*stik) n. On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of your mouth. On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear…!
Park (park) v./n. Before children, a verb meaning, “to go somewhere and neck.” After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and slide.
Patience (pa*shens) n. The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children. See also “tranquilizers.”
Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n. Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.
Valentine’s Day (val*en*tinez dae) n. A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card
Re: A Woman’s Dictionary
I see the estrogen liberation force has reared it’s pretty head
again.We must stop this evil faction from invaiding our forum.
General Stevetuna has a plan to take down this faction of
rebel rousers.Re: A Woman’s Dictionary
quote michaelmall:I see the estrogen liberation force has reared it’s pretty head
again.We must stop this evil faction from invaiding our forum.
General Stevetuna has a plan to take down this faction of
rebel rousers.Good luck – Hey, I report good KM info and Steve has his own liberation force to deal with – HIS wiferofl2
Re: A Woman’s Dictionary
we do not negotiate with terrorist!
Operation delta is a go.
We will attack with pamprin then chocolate.rofl2rofl2Re: A Woman’s Dictionary
mara i’ll bring the flowers and you bring the window treatments to brighten the place up…I’m sure the guys will love it thumbsup
Re: A Woman’s Dictionary
quote michaelmall:we do not negotiate with terrorist!
Operation delta is a go.
We will attack with pamprin then chocolate.rofl2rofl2Pamprin! Are you friggin kidding me? I NEVER touch the stuff :D:
You’re using the WRONG ammo (on me at least anyway). Hubby’s way of saying Valentine’s one year – BRAND NEW MOTHERBOARD..Yeah!!:rolleyes:
Re: A Woman’s Dictionary
I can do without chocolate and pamprin…cheese on the other hand rofl2
…damnit I just gave myself away
Re: A Woman’s Dictionary
quote bulb98930:mara i’ll bring the flowers and you bring the window treatments to brighten the place up…I’m sure the guys will love it thumbsupNah, shock knives would be better – I aint into Better Homes and Gardens stuffrofl2
Re: A Woman’s Dictionary
Do I want to know what a shock knife is? I’m a new level 2 try not to scare me too much
Re: A Woman’s Dictionary
quote bulb98930:Do I want to know what a shock knife is? I’m a new level 2 try not to scare me too muchI haven’t gotten to use one myself but one of the instructors tried it on me a month ago – talk about positive reinforcement (positive I DON”T wanna get shocked)rofl2
Don’t worry – weapons aren’t until Level 4 but hubby and I have been lucky to be exposed to them thanks to our 3/4/5 classthumbsup
Re: A Woman’s Dictionary
quote bulb98930:Do I want to know what a shock knife is? I’m a new level 2 try not to scare me too muchGet ready to be terrified:
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