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Re: Advice for a newbie?
quote sprightly:I don’t know. I guess I found it kind of insulting that someone would state the obvious (call the police if someone is threatening you, which he hasn’t since the incident, btw).Nobody knows you or very much about your situation and how far you are into it. This forum doesn’t seem to be one to pile onto a newbie and I think you can rest assured that nobody intends an insult to you.
On topic, the school I train at doesn’t have a high percentage of women, but the ones who have participated do fine. Our instructor manages to pair people of similar size (if they don’t manage to do that on their own), which helps when learning new material. When stress testing techniques, you may be working with anyone, which is a good thing.
Your situation probably sets you up to have high motivation to persevere through many levels, if you find that the training is effective. Classes and tests are pretty grueling at times, which will not only make you physically stronger, but will leave you feeling more confident as you get through them successfully.
Re: Advice for a newbie?
Size is not on my side when it comes to my soon to be ex, and I want to have a fighting chance, no pun intended. ;): I need to take back some of my power.
Hi Sprightly, I’ve been taking classes for a few months now and usually partner up with a another guy who has about 50lbs on me. I weight about 180lbs. Not fun holding when holding the kick shields sometimes:(: At a class last week there was an odd number of people, so the two of us partnered up with a women who was probably around 5″ and couldn’t weigh more than 110lbs. We were initially taken by surprise because she was very very strong with her punches and kicks and very accurate. It turns out she was in level two and had been taken classes for a year. Throughout the class she really helped both of us level 1 guys considerably.
She may be small in size, but I’d rather tangle with the 230lb guy if “push came to shove” than have to fight her.
Best of luck and congrats for taking control of the situation.
Re: Advice for a newbie?
Oldkravdude wasn’t be disrespectful. The net is an odd place where strangers will help you, but its hard to read emotions and it’s easy to project our own on to the conversation. Thats why so many idiots fall in love over the net without ever meeting the other person. :tantrum: LOL
The old dude carefully addressed a couple subjects that I and maybe Don implied but i definitely was skirting around. One being the issue of a gun which is a long subject. But in short if you buy one there is a lot of regular training you must do and child saftey issues. And not just plinking at targets
The big one is that Krav IS NOT a quick fix, a magic bullet nor an easy path. It is also a perishable skill. You have to work it regularly and keep yourself fit. If it was easy it would have little value. It is not comforable as you will have to wrestle around on the floor with sweaty men and may be put into positions that bring up memories of events and fight your way out of them with both aggression and respect for your partner
I know a girl who is a L3 in krav. She fights in smokers(true amatueur) Muay thai events regularly. She loved krav but quit because she hated rolling around on the floor with sweaty smelly guys. I understand it. All men stink, except me
I don’t think old dude is going to take much offense to your post. I read it as a reaction from your PTSD more than anything else. You’d be suprised by the things I’ve seen people not do in similar situations as you. So don’t stress him trying to make sure everything starts right. Krav is a process that takes time and I think he is concerned about your immediate needs as well as your kids
Most women I’ve trained with have come to the martial arts with some type of similar experience as you. The truama can make it hard to work with them simply because your a man in some cases or because they have an image about how your suppose to train with them. Your learn to work thru that. Some guys won’t want to work with you because the might not dfeel they can go hard or their own hang ups. Deal with it and move on. Many women before had it a hell of a lot rougher and KMWW has always been led by women so your in good hands. Learning how to train with people is simply part of the process than many don’t understand. We learn a lot about people thru the process. Their fears, their ego’s, strengths and weaknesses. We develope an awareness of how to handle people and who is truely worthy of respect. Hint: You see her in the mirrior everyday
My impression is you need to try Krv for a while. You’ll learn realistic self defense.There is a cool social benefit in that your getting outta the house and around adults who are working in positive ways. we tend to mirrior our enviorment. You’ll learn to harness your aggression and use it. You’ll get fit and look really hot when some nice guy comes along and most important NOTHING MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER THAN BEATING THE SNOT OUTTA MITTS, HEAVY BAGS and smart azz training partners ;o). I love punching all my anger and fears out of my body. It is a HUGE release for all the stresses of life from bills to idiot drivers to exes
So before I go back to hiding in Cyberspace where I’m much more attractive and brilliant:banghead:;): the main piece of advice I have for you is to think of it as toughness training with the motivation to never let yourself or your children to see themselves as a victim of anything ever again and as contradictory as this may seem find the fun in the workouts. Find the joy in what your doing or the empowerment becomes overbearing and repells
Re: Advice for a newbie?
quote unstpabl1:Oldkravdude wasn’t be disrespectful. The net is an odd place where strangers will help you, but its hard to read emotions and it’s easy to project our own on to the conversation.True. Admittedly, I overreacted, and I think I owe an apology to him. So, sorry for being harsh. There’s a lot of raw emotion behind all of this, and last night was a rough night for me emotionally. While I do realize you all don’t know me or anythng about my situation, rest assured, as I said before, I’ve been smart about things. I also realize Krav isn’t a quick fix, and requires work and committment, but it’s something that I’m willing to work for. I really do appreciate everyone’s concern and advice, and apologize if I came off bitchy. I have my moments, but for the most part I’m not a super bitch. ;):
Re: Advice for a newbie?
Sprightly — I apologize if I came off as condescending. That was not my intent. Not knowing anything about your situation, I just wanted to make sure the important things were taken care of. It’s like giving someone advice on how to train for a marathon without knowing if they own a pair of running shoes.
Plenty of smart women have a hard time getting out of abusive relationships. It has very little to do with intelligence. Because of my job, I only really see things when they go badly. I don’t get to see too many of the success stories, although I know there are many (including some of my friends and family). I wasn’t trying to scare you or raise any doubts about your abilities – I just always think about the worst-case scenario.
It sounds like you’re doing everything right (not that you need me to tell you that). I think Krav is also a great idea. My main concern is exactly what unstop said – it’s not a quick solution and it takes a lot of hard work, but you sound like you’re willing to make the commitment. Much more than with other types of self defense or martial arts, you’ll get tools you can use from day 1. I think you’ll also find that people in the classes tend to be very supportive and will push you to do your best. Good luck with everything.
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