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I just read a heartbreaking story about an 11 year old boy who committed suicide as a result of being bullied. This happened somewhere in Georgia. As a police officer who has to deal with suicides and the aftermath, I can tell you that it’s one of the most painful experiences imaginable.
One of the primary focuses of our km-X kids classes is how to deal with bullies. We talk about it all the time, stressing our mantra of “common sense before self-defense.” We always end that discussion by telling the kids that no one has the right to hurt them.
One mom pulled me aside after class about six months after her son, 11 years old, had been training. She told me that her son started coming to class because he’d been a constant target of bullies. Now, he was no longer targeted. I asked if he’d been in any violent confrontations. She said no, the bullies simply picked up on his increased confidence and decided that there were other, easier targets. Her eyes were filled with tears as she told me this.
It was one of my best days as an instructor ever.
I’d like to hear from you folks about your experiences with this subject. One of the sad trends that I’m seeing lately is girl vs. girl bullying, both physical and psychological. Man, what a sad situation…
Re: Bullied children
Here’s what I think about that:
Every human being should know how to fight for the purpose of self-defense. So they might as well start with children. It would be a great idea to teach all children some type of self-defense (including combatives, not just avoidance) system. I think it would be great if something like KM for kids was mandatory, like gym class.
Re: Bullied children
steve, first off that is a horrible story that i hope to god doesn’t have a 2nd occurance. That said i think that this basic question has been raised here a few times. that question is,”how do you teach kids how to stand up for themselves in this overly controlling nanny state?” the answer that i have heard a few times is that you sould teach you child how to defend themself. Stressing that they should NEVER start a fight. But reassure them that if they are in the right that you will support them 100%. Maybee they get suspended, or dentenion. But you as the parent and more importantly THEY know that they were in the right even if these socialist, baby everybody, schools don’t think so. That is the type of confidence builder that you speak of. When i was younger i got into fights but i was always afraid of getting in trouble even if i was right. That all stopped when my parents told me what i just told you. And with that i was a little less intimidated by these bullies.
I have a 5 year old son. he will never be the biggest kid i his class(he will be the one the girls swoon over) and he will know how to defend himself. But he will also know that if he abuses that ability and uses it when it is not necessary, that he will wish to god he had just gotten detention.
there is my soap box for the day.P.S. I am now going to eat lunch with my best friend who is on a 30 day leave from iraq. He hasn’t had BBQ since he has been back in K.C. that is almost blasphomeus.(sp?) anyway it’ll be a good time and i might drag him to the gun seminar in STL. next weekend.
Re: Bullied children
Every human being is born knowing how to fight…we, as a society, teach them not to fight, as children, and the ability wanes with the willingness. We teach them violence is bad. Guess, what? Poison is bad, unless you call it chemotherapy. Sometimes, poison, like violence, is what is called for.
Re: Bullied children
Yeah that is a sad story i do wish self defense classes were more availible and inexpensive or mandatory because i to know how it is to be bullied i was bullied all my life it feels terrible but i used it as fire and am now 5’11” and 220 pounds and now it has ended ha. but not all people can use it as fuel as that story depicts so i wish kids could get into this kind of thing before the bulling ever begins:(:
Re: Bullied children
Sorry that last post kinda made me sound like i was bragging or something so dont think that i was just trying to get my point across that i used bullying as fuel to get bigger stronger and more educated on different fighting styles to help raise my confidence and help me protect myself
Re: Bullied children
quote Ryan:Every human being is born knowing how to fight…we, as a society, teach them not to fight, as children, and the ability wanes with the willingness. We teach them violence is bad. Guess, what? Poison is bad, unless you call it chemotherapy. Sometimes, poison, like violence, is what is called for.It’s kinda funny… When playing with my 1 1/2 year old son, tickling or playing on the floor, it’s amazing how he automatically does thing like go into a gaurd position or use his limbs to block etc. Always trips me out.
Re: Bullied children
quote kylestyle913:But reassure them that if they are in the right that you will support them 100%. Maybee they get suspended, or dentenion. But you as the parent and more importantly THEY know that they were in the right even if these socialist, baby everybody, schools don’t think so.This.
Re: Bullied children
Well, first and foremost, kids respond to what they’re getting at home, so if they’re seein dad or mom or w-e do something, or they’re not getting attention and are looking for it elsewhere, that’s gonna happen. Kids need to be exposed to aggression and fighting, so that they know how useful it is, but also how harmful it can be if they use it wrong. Being afraid of violence and understanding how to defend yourself are two completely different things. If you understand things, it’s a hell of a lot easier to incorporate them into your life; but if you’ve grown up just hearing “oh violence and fighting are wrong” then you’re gonna be afraid of any confrontation, and the natural reaction to fear is aggression. Teaching every kid how to be a badass isn’t the answer, but not being lazy parents, teachers, instructors, or general human beings is. Take the time to explain something, to show them how/why to do something, and don’t elevate your speach to that of a demigod. We need a future full of people so secure in themselves that they don’t need to bully or be bullied.
Also,
LET’S GO SOX!!!!:beer:Re: Bullied children
Steve,
Very sad and all too often heard story. Coming from a Military Family, we were the ones bussed to the public schools, whose students really didn’t want us there. You did two things, you stayed together(strength in numbers)and learned how to take care of yourself.
But in the end it didn’t repel the bullies that were hell bent on being just that…bullies. So defend we did, and we became very good at it. When a bully sees you are not intimidated, they lose interest, and look for a weaker target.
I think the KM-X program is awesome and from what I can discern a growing program. I don’t teach anyone under 18 in my program, but I would have NO reservations sending someone to the KM-X classes.On a side note to Steve: Thank You for all you do, all you see, and all you solve. I tip my hat to you and all that are served and all that continue to serve their communities and country!!!! JL
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