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This past weekend ,my wife & I went to the movies.The room was getting full but I noticed there were some empty seats,including 2 seats center,midway that were empty.
We were sitting no more than a minute,when a guy in his mid-20’s to my left leans over & says,\”Excuse me.\”
I looked over & said,\”Can I help you?\”
The conversation continued as follows:
he- would you move to some different seats.
me- ????puzzled look??
he- I got here early to get this seat.I need my space.I don’t like having
anyone sit next to me.
(he had 2 empty seats in front,behind,& on both sides of him)me- How many seats did you pay for?
he- There are other seats you can sit in,go sit there.
(we would have had to sit either all the way up front or way off
to the side)My wife who is sitting to my right- Come on lets move.
me- \” I’m not moving anywhere.\”
(adrenaline surge hits-hearts hammering.I sit up straight in my seat.)he- Asshole! he crouches down in the seat,extends his arms way over
the armrests on both sides and says,\”I hope you don’t mind if I fart\”me-(I’m thinking-I can’t believe a grown man is acting this way.This is the
kind of ‘in your face’ behavior that I haven’t heard in 40 years since
early high school)he- mumble,mumble,mumble..
(My hearing isn’t the best anymore)he- DICK!!! YOU DICK!!!
(he’s really loud now)There are kids in the theater.Some parents turn & say\”Watch your mouth,you shouldn’t be using that kind of language in front of children.
me- Your not doing yourself any favors by talking that way to people.
he- He lifts his arms up \”Bring it on\”
me- I’m not getting locked up by fighting in the theater.
he- (standing up)
me- (I’ve been going thru my training in my mind -what I would do :
If he does A,I’ll do B
If he does C,I’ll do D)he- he moves away another seat & sits down.
For the rest of the movie,I had one eye on the screen,& one eye on the guy to my left.
end of discussion
I guess that I could have moved & ‘let him have his space’.But hell,I got a right to sit in a decent seat too.
I think that the guy is a’whack job’.
I wasn’t about to start a fight in the middle of the theater.We both would have ended up in jail (or for him maybe the psych ward)
Even though I never threw a punch,my training had me thinking of an immediate response to his different possible moves if he got aggressive.
Great job, held your ground but resisted the urge for a quick educational defense……
I have found that the more confident I have become about my ability to defend myself over the years, the less temptation I have to use any of my knowledge without very just cause……
jjbklb, Lets analyze this a bit more…. Lets say the guy was a psycho(which he sounded like) and lets say he decides not to move but to instead take a swing, now lets assume you are able to hurt him and put him down……..Well your ego will be maintained but your nice night out with your wife will now be ruined. Was it worth ruining your night out plans simply to stand up to some loser who wants empty seats around him? Maybe this guy pulls a knife, maybe all hell breaks lose. You gotta choose your battles carefully, it sounds like he initially was somewhat polite in his request for you to move, although it was unreasonable to you, you could have recognized that a person asking such a question probly isnt all there and to simply avoid a scene and just oblige the man……
Anyways just a few thoughts to chew on, thanks for sharing the story, i respect your decision and may have done the same thing myself, just offering another perspective
It does seem like you could have just moved at first, but I try not to second guess people in these events.
I have a story from a few weeks ago that I probably could have handled better, but I didn’t. What happens, happens, just learn from it. Anyway, a few weeks ago, I was waiting at a crosswalk with my skateboard. A middle aged mexican man starts talking to me in broken english. He starta asking me about my skateboard, which is leaning against the stoplight. It seems like he wants to confirm if its mine, so he can take it if its not. I explain its mine. He begins questioning me and starts saying its his, and then keeps asking where my name is on it. I had the same process- if A, then B, etc. Anyway, I point to part of the deck and tell him that’s where my name is. He stoops over to look at it, and all sorts of tactics come to my head. I first thought of grabbing him by the ear and holding his head down where it was, and telling him to stop being a freak. Anyway, I threw a quick uppercut just in front of his leaned-over face (not hitting him). This really got my point across that I wasn’t going to allow this sort of thing. Thinking back, I could have done a number of other reactions that were much better. Being at a busy intersection, many people may have thought I hit him because of their angle of sight. Also, again, the weapon thing. I could have run away because he was kind of old and I definitely could have run away. Some self defense people might say I should have given him the board. But I didn’t. You just have to look back on these things as experience, and how you can improve your responses later.jjbklb,
I think even more importantly was that you were assessing the situation and \”planning\” if the threat escalated. Because of your training your voice was probably more confident than most individuals who’ve had encounters with the dumba$$.
Good job on not being the one to pre-emptively strike without real need.
Seemed like Krav Maga really helped in this situation, even if just indirectly – it gave you enough confidence to stand up to the guy.
This guy definitely seems like a head case. Maybe you could have also alerted the management of the theater, telling them that the guy was causing trouble. If the theater was almost full, I’m sure there were plenty of others, who would have liked to sit in those seats and all of them were probably scared off by the guy.
That’s why I’m not sure the suggestion of immediatly backing down is always such a good idea – it’ll only show the guy that that kind of behaviour gets him what he wants, so he’ll do it again and again. And why should a single guy terrorize a whole theater? If people showed a bit more courage, he might soon learn that he can’t always claim nine seats for the price of one. If he wants to sit alone, he should pay for all the tickets, or go to a less crowded showing, or maybe stadium style seating would help…
Anyway, don’t take any risks of course, if you thought that he might become violent, I guess you could have backed down at first, then alert the manager. Otherwise, I think you did a good job, the only problem was that you probably couldn’t enjoy the movie as much, having to keep an eye on guy.
CLFMak,
I guess you could have taken the skateboard and run, if he was older… Again, I’m not sure why you should have surrendered your skateboard, just because he wanted it. If you felt sorry for the guy and decided he could have it, sure, but just because he’s acting irrational I don’t think you should feel compelled to give up your property. Only if you’s feel that your life is in immediate danger, then of course it’s not worth to lose it over a skateboard or anything else.
CLF
I have to agree with Giant on this one. There is no reason to give up your skateboard unless you think your life might be endangered by defending it. If America had the attitude of just give \”them\” whatever they want we might well have simply given the British their taxes and avoided that whole ugly American Revaluation business.
I would be careful with the pulled upper cuts though. Had he leaned down a little more while you were launching it you might well have been guilty of assault. I won’t second guess either here and in the end you have your skateboard and are safe so it worked out. Before being in law enforcement I was twice faced with the more nefarious side of society attempting to gain at my expense. Both times an actual fight was avoided by simply showing the would be attackers that I was willing to stand up to them.
JC
hey FFDO i \”like\” your attitude about \”Them\”. Has that helped you in you Law Enforcement career?
ìThemî of course can refer to anyone that looks to take advantage of the weakness of others. It can refer to a tyrannical dictator; it can refer to the street thug or it could refer to anyone that benefits him or herself at a cost to society or another individual. I believe true strength comes from not only standing up for yourself but also for those that canít or even wonít stand up for themselves. Too many in society seem to have taken the attitude that it isnít my business or they arenít directly threatening me, so itís none of my business. I truly believe in everybodyís right to live free and unmolested so long as they donít harm anyone else. Unfortunately, there are always those among us, ìthemî that seek there own gain by taking from someone else.
I do hope that when I used the term ìthemî that nobody took that to mean a particular race as that was certainly not my intentÖ..
And yes, I think every officer involved in law enforcement should be in that line of work to help protect people. It should never be because of some power or ego trip.
JC
All though a fight over movie theater seats sounds trivial I applaud you for standing up for yourself. People like the guy in the theater will only bully those that allow it. I hate bullies and I will never tolerate one to push me around. Too many people back down to bullies now a days, thats how we get tyrants like Saddam Hussien in the world. No one tells them no and means it.
As for the bum on the street it sounds to me like he wasnt a threat. I would have just pointed behind him and said \”look someone is giving out liquor\” taken my skateboard and left.
Since I have started taking Krav my awareness of my environment and analyzing possible reactions to attacks has become a natural thing for me.
I’m not saying you should always give up anything by any means. I’m saying that there’s some people in the self defense community who say you should always give the agressor what they want (also the people that say you can always run). I’ve never really agreed with this- if we train in martial arts, we should strive to use it for good, not just for self defense.
Speaking of weird physical encounters, there was once a mentally ill homeless guy who started to harass people training outside by the school. He carried a big wooden staff and wore a green trenchcoat. He would yell really loud, shake his staff in the air, and one time, he vomited on the ground. One day he was especially bad and the chief instructor called the cops. I remember he kind of chased everyone off, and he actually ran after me so I I got a building between us. Afterwards, some students went out to get weapons they’d left there, and made sure that the guy wasn’t wandering around with anyone’s weapons. There was a short stick missing, and it turns out that the chief instructor hid it up his sleeve beforehand.
Kind of odd, if you are going to harass or rob someone you would think they would choose somewhere besides an MA school to do it…..
I had a guy try and walk up behind me while I was waiting for my son to finish his Kung Fu class. The confrontation was avoided by simply turning to face him. He jumped back and mumbled something about how he wasn’t doing anything. Might be true, but I don’t let people get a foot behind me with one hand in their pocket.
Kind of reminds me of the video of the pimp and the guy shooting a police defense video. Of course, most bullies and criminals arenít that tough, they rely on fear and intimidation to do their bidding, not actually physical prowess.
It is worth a quick note, that the dynamics of avoiding a confrontation change drastically when dealing with a group of thugs. The alpha thug has to prove his toughness to his pack, so you would want to give him a way to save face or take him down quickly and efficiently if there is no other way out. You may or may not have to fight the rest of them after thatÖÖ
JC
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