Eye Contact

[corriecorka]

After reading and hearing about eye contact and self defense I suddenly became acutely aware that I look down and to the left almost straight away after acknowledging a stranger for the first time.

How can I stop this without staring at someone, afterall we are suppose to maintain eye contact in a non threatening way? How can I perfect this without coming across as weird or ‘starey’ or threatening.

Thanks

[cmetalman]

Re: Eye Contact

Almost 60 views and no one is making eye contact ? Well there are many “depends” and I’m not talking about adult diapers. In my “very humble opinion”. I think making eye to eye contact for a “certain matter” of time can be taken as an invite for a stranger to approach you

[bradm]

Re: Eye Contact

To me, eye contact does not mean staring at the person like you’re “staring down a dog” so to speak. A brief look or two for a second or two is all that is needed to let that person know you are aware of him (them). At the same time you can make a quick observance of things like his body language – does he look aggressive – where are his hands – is he with buddies and may be looking for trouble (in this case if you stare at him, you will most likely invite trouble). Are his hands free or is e carrying something like a package, shopping bag, grocery bag, etc. If so, most likely he has no intentions of trouble. Are his hands in his pocket — he may have hold of a knife or other weapon — or he may just like walking with his hands in his pocket. Those are just some of the observations and assumptions I make.

Also, if I’m approaching someone and walking towards him in the same path he is walking towards me, I will make an effort to move to the side to give him clear passage, avoiding a shoulder bump, etc.

[cmetalman]

Re: Eye Contact

BradM , great reply. Reminded me when I was in catholic school (long time ago) the nuns would smack you if they caught you walking with your hands in your pocket. p.s. I swear some of them hit like they took Krav.

[corriecorka]

Re: Eye Contact

Thanks, some great points. I’m not catholic and I’ve seen the Blues Brothers. Back to my original point. Looking down and to the left can be seen as submissive, the looking down part at least. Where do you avert your gaze if you do break it off early?

Can you bear in mind that I cant remember what I do in the pub or in the situations when I’m chilled and confident it’s all second nature. I am a nurse so deal with vulnerable people and agressive ‘upset’ people all the time. Again no problem with eye contact. In the street away from work, friends or the pub I drop my gaze. Any thoughts.

[tigeruppercut]

Re: Eye Contact

After the quick eye contact try looking over there shoulder or straight back to where you are going (w/o looking down first). It seems to be something you are going to have to un-train your body to do as from the description it just is sort of what your body naturally does.

I also agree with BradM. Make a checklist of things you want to notice about a person then give a quick glance up and down and see if you can visually check-off everything on your list. This will help keep you safe and occupy your time when you pass somebody.

[bradm]

Re: Eye Contact

Thanks TigerUpperCut. God idea about looking over their shoulder. I try not to look down and away. I look forward or at an angle, not directly staring at them. But I try to always keep them in view with my periphial vision for awareness. Doing so will keep you aware of any changes in direction or sudden moves they may make. Also, depending on how far away they are, I will glance back at them periodically for a second or so. I want them to be aware that I am aware of them without projecting aggressiveness.

[peterako]

Re: Eye Contact

Yeah, moving from eye contact to the left or right on a horizontal line is what I think I do most commonly, and is probably the most effective without giving up anything. Be careful not to look up and down too much at someone, as if to alert them of you sizing them up. Down and to the left might not be all that bad, unless it’s too far down towards the floor. If you look down without moving your head, then I would doubt that it is a problem.

[cmetalman]

Re: Eye Contact

Just a thought , would there be any different advice on the “eye contact” question if you were a woman verses a man?

[voodoo]

Re: Eye Contact

I like to give a quick eyeball to people who may be a threat – at least they know I see them – and then keep them in the peripheral.

If you wanna keep an eye on someone without being too obvious about it, have a quick look around for a reflection of them in a window (or similar). Chances are that you can watch their reflection directly without them knowing it.

Works nice for that hot babe in the gym too.

-Voodoo

[kms1974]

Re: Eye Contact

Make eye contact, then look in the direction you are heading. If she is cute, smile…

[juxtaposition]

Re: Eye Contact

@Kms1974 😀 And if she isn’t, then what?

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