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Found this on another forum:
I have 6 large dogs and was buying several large bags of Iam’s at Costco, and I was standing in line to check out. The woman behind me asked if I had a dog?
(Duh!)
On impulse, I told her no, I was starting The Purina Diet again and I probably shouldn’t because I’d ended up in the hospital the last time. But I’d lost 20 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV’s in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy who was standing behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me?
I told her no, I’d been sitting in the street licking my butt and a car hit me.
I thought the guy standing behind her was going to need help as he staggered to the door laughing.
Re: Purina diet
LOL. Perfect post to read on a Monday. That was funny. 🙂 btw, the Purina diet doesn’t help if you substitute it with M&Ms. I tried that once..
Re: Purina diet
quote mara_jade:Great candidate for Bill Engvalls’ Here’s Your Signrofl2ROFL that was my first thought.
Right before Thanksgiving the Mrs sent me to the store to buy bakers yeast as I was in line a woman behind me said ìOh thatís so cute your buying yeast, do you bake?î With a slight snarl on my face I growled back at her ìAnger Management Therapyî I thought she was going to drop her milk
Re: Purina diet
My husband and I were loading up the U-Haul a few years back, and struggling with cramming the last bits of crap into the van. A neighbor came out and asked, “Are you moving?”
Jeez.
Re: Purina diet
I have to tell you this made my families day.
We had a friend hit by a train this weekend ( not a happy situation for all of us), but the newspaper said that the ME was trying to determine cause of death. My wife and I both looked at each other and wondered if they really proof read this. I offered Blunt trauma as an answer.
Re: Purina diet
quote leam:Found this on another forum:I told her no, I’d been sitting in the street licking my butt and a car hit me.
Had to get up from the floor laughing to reply….
Re: Purina diet
The Purina diet reminds me of a story told by some German immigrants, who came here maybe 40 years ago.
When they had just arrived in the country, everything was very new to them and they spoke little English. The supermarkets here seemed gigantic compared to the small stores back in Europe. All the foods were different and they didn’t have much money, so they often just bought some canned items.
One type of canned food they came to like especially well and it quickly became their favorite. They stocked up on it and ate some of it almost every day for several months. Then one day a friend came over and casually asked: “By the way, where’s your dog? I never see him around.” They looked at their friend, perplexed, saying: “What dog? We don’t have a dog.” Then the friend said: “You don’t have a dog? But then why do you have all of that dog food lying around?” Safe to say, they never ate their favorite canned food again after that….
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GiantkillerRe: Purina diet
rofl2rofl2 One for Leam and GK
Years ago there was a water and grapefruit diet. I met a girl who said she was on the bourbon and water diet. I don’t know if she lost a pound, but she was the happiest dieter I ever met
Re: Purina diet
Hey GK. I think I heard a story similar to that some years ago. but, I believe it envolved cat food instead of dog food. And I believe the foriegn national envolved was a military wife from Thailand.
Personally, I like the Sea food diet — “Sea food and eat it”
Re: Purina diet
Wow, looks like these things happen more often than one would think. Apparently, dog and cat food tastes really good. Maybe we should all try it.
I think that sea food diet sounds good, too. Lucky little me, I don’t seem to be gaining much weight, no matter what I eat.
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Giantkiller
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