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Hey guys,
I have been taking krav maga classes 4 days a week for a little over a month now (at a KM certified training center) and i absolutely LOVE it. In fact, I love it so much that i purchased a few dvds and books on the topic.
Now, I’m still in high school and people regard me as a relatively shy person. It has calmed down over the last year or so, but from time to time i get people that want to pick fights with me. I understand krav maga’s lethality in its entireness and I have vowed not to use any of the techniques unless absolutely necessary. However, I don’t want to be known as the kid who always likes to “pussy” out either.
I bring this up because there was a confrontation between me and another classmate, whom i know has no martial arts training whatsoever for a fact -he has just been in a few fights, and is known as kind of a “bad ass” because of his personality. The other day there was a confrontation in the lunch room at my school. My school is relatively overcrowded, so my lunch period usually runs out of chairs. Anyways, said kid approaches me at the table with my other friends (some are athletes, some arent, we’re a normal bunch) and tells me to get out of my chair.
He then approaches me and approaches my fast very slowly and intimidatingly, using the confidence that i had learned from krav maga i simply remained staring him down. He then did one of those deals where he just walked away. The only problem I have is that he’s telling everyone that i’m a little bitch and that he wants to whoop my ass.
I haven’t seen him since the previous confrontation and I was wondering what to do next.
Re: Handling threats in high school
I think you did the right thing. However do not be suprised if this bully keeps at it, trying to start shi*. Maybe, maybe not. If he keeps at it you might have to go ballistic on him. Unfortunately I’m sure this would get you suspended from school for “x” amount of days which is never good. Hopefully others out there have some good advice but sometimes it’s good to to nip the problem in the bud asap.
Re: Handling threats in high school
It could very well be a damned if you do/don’t type situation BUT, there IS a reason why there is a saying “that’s so high school…”.
Personally, and it’s easy for me to give this advice from the safety of my chair here, I would recommend avoiding confrontation/an altercation – even if it means swallowing some pride or losing a little face. There are many more possible negative results of a fight than positive.
OTOH, if you’ve legitimately done EVERYTHING you possibly can to head off, defuse, avoid, etc a fight and he continues to come after you – a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do to protect himself and/or his loved ones. Btw, “everything” also includes telling school officials about the problems you’re having with the idiot…
Re: Handling threats in high school
What Don said.
There’s an old saying that some things are hard to do, but easy to live with. This statement applies to your situation, I’d say. You did well to avoid an escalation of this matter.
Talk to your folks, talk to someone in the school system that you trust – make sure that there’s some documentation of this matter. Talk to your KM instructor about defending against some typical bully tactics (more pushing and grabbing than choking – same principals apply).
Continue to be aware, too. This kid’s aggressive behavior will be one thing inside the school and another thing outside of it. Be prepared for that. I suspect that the kid who will intimidate you inside the building will punch you outside. Be ready. You don’t need to take a punch in the face to serve notice to defend yourself.
Oh – and one more thing… The more you train, the more you will change in ways that others will recognize. You will become more confident. You may not notice it, but others will – including the bullies. They’ll focus on softer, easier targets. I’m not saying that you’re going to start walking around like the long-lost nephew of Chuck Norris, but you will change. Good luck!
Good luck, and thanks for posting. Please let us know how this shakes out. And keep training!
Re: Handling threats in high school
I agree with the other posters, in that you should try to avoid a confrontation.
He sounds like all talk, because if he wanted to cause you physical harm, he probably would have tried it already. Sounds like he is trying to intimidate you and protect his rep by talking crap to others, instead of to your face. Remember, if you oppose a bully who has a rep, you are a threat to him. If he loses his rep, he loses his security blanket. He needs to feel liked/feared/respected.
The next time, you could warn him directly to back off. If he doesn’t get the hint, I (personally) would take action, but bear in mind that fights happen a lot differently than you have seen in movies or even trained for with Krav. Don’t ever under-estimate someone’s ability. He may not be a martial artist or trained, but that doesn’t mean he can’t handle himself.
Unfortunately, a month of Krav training won’t get you very far in a real fight if that’s all you bring to the fight. For example, have you or do you get hit hard in the face and body regularly? Do you know how to take a punch, deal with it and re-focus? Have you trained ground fighting yet? You probably will go to the ground at some point (regardless of the krav system teaching you not to go to the ground, it CAN happen) or one hard punch from an opponent could end it for you. A month of Krav or any other system won’t teach you to deal with that shock off the bat. That takes time, and practice (spar lots and get hit many, many times).
Saying all that, think your decisions through thoroughly before getting into it, and remember that there are always consequences. Like the previous posters said; talk with others (parents and officials) first.
P.S
Personally, I would knock his ass down, because in school you can do it without being arrested and charged- LOL- man, I hate being old(er).Good luck.
Re: Handling threats in high school
Dirty Harry: I have to respectfully disagree with part of your statement. Today (at least where I live) schoolyard fights do result in charges being pressed for both the instigator and the defender. My niece who is 12 got into an altercation with a classmate in the lunchroom. The classmate walked by and hit my niece in the back of the head. My niece naturally asked “WTF?” The classmate basically replied back with some not so witty reply and hit her again with her backpack. My niece turned around and struck back so the fight was on. Fortunately, the entire incident was videotaped and clearly showed the event as my niece related it (mind you, the instigator said that my niece had started it but witness statements and the videotape contradict that story)
Both girls were charged with assault and now my brother had to get an attorney to defend his daughter in her upcoming court appearance.
With that being said, I have to echo everyone else’s sentiments. Go talk to your parents and to a trusted school official. Get it documented. Even if this kid backs off of you, he will start harassing someone else. By documenting it now, if you do have to take it to the next level (or someone else does), it will show officials that you did everything you could without having to fight. And if you document it and he backs off, the next kid he harasses will have that much more in his/her favor if s/he has to take it to the next level. And if you do have to get into a physical altercation with him, I am sure you’ll do great!
Re: Handling threats in high school
..”And if you document it and he backs off, the next kid he harasses will have that much more in his/her favor if s/he has to take it to the next level…”
I agree.
High school mentality is..”I won’t be a snitch.”If you’re attacked when you are older,you wouldn’t hesitate about pressing assault charges on an attacker.You ‘get back’ at him worse by having him spend a night in juvie-hall .His parents may slough-off him getting into a fight.They’d take more notice if they have to hire an attorney to defend him.
If you go to a counselor & refuse to ID the kid,at least have it on record that you have been intimadated by a bullie so if later you get in an altercation,you can say..”This is the guy I told you about.”That said,I remember my first day in high school.My class had a number of ‘tougheys’ & some with juvenile records.The first day of class,I had two bullies (both bigger than me) knock my books out of my hands and grab me.To this day,I wish I had taken my lumps and aggressively reponded immediately even though I would have been beaten up.
Re: Handling threats in high school
@Skelegirl: Oh, how times have changed. Your also in a different country, which I should take into account next time.Here in Britain, when I was young(er), you didn’t get arrested and charged for a schoolyard fight and still don’t unless there is serious long term injury or death. The police would tell you to stop wasting their time. If it’s just a fight, it’s between the students, parents and head.
Re: Handling threats in high school
Be verbal as in “leave me alone “go to passive stance stance hands up wait for sucker punch if it happens u know the rest.Hope fully there are witnesses
Re: Handling threats in high school
Negative on the passive stance!!!
I would suggest the defensive stance. “I don’t want a problem” is my automatic verbal response when I step back into the defensive stance.
Do not allow someone a free shot at you with your hands down. Never.
Re: Handling threats in high school
#1 Get it documented, if you have option of emailing school personnel do that first and also talk to them in person. Emails by law if it’s a public school have to be kept for years.
Try to avoid the confrontation if possible but if threatened be on defensive mode and very alert, do not give your back to him or his friends until defused and have good distance and different area between you.
Talk to your instructor about this next class.
Re: Handling threats in high school
I have seen this kid lose in fights before, he has no (or very little) knowledge of human pressure points.
The two fights i’ve seen him in were over very fast (one where he lost after 3 punches) and another where he got in the majority of punches but the fight got broken up, i’ve never seen him use knees/elbows/uppercuts/360 defense/etc.
And yes, I do know what its like to be hit hard and recover, my instructor is notorious for his intensity and confidence building drills (dogpiles, spinning in a circle with multiple attackers, being pushed down by a 320lb lineman)have made me focus on balance almost more than the actual techniques themselves.
I just don’t envision him as a “threat” to my life – however if he places it in danger that will very quickly change. I know how powerful a knee to the solar or elbow to the temple is…and it is wayyy more powerful than a standard boxing punch.
<3 plyometrics classes (which i took 2 years before krav) for explosion.
Re: Handling threats in high school
Jdawg, Whether You Realize It Or Not You Have Effectively Defended Against This So Called “bully” By Standing Your Ground And Not Giving Up Your Seat. You Have Gained A Mental Advantage Over Him By Taking Away His Most Powerful Tool,his Intimidation Factor And Since You Have Shown Him That He Doesnt Scare You He Will Most Likely Go Pick On Some One That He Can Intimidate Easily. You Will Win More Battles With Your Mind That With Ur Krav Training Use Ur Head Before Your Fist Until You Absolutely Need Too. Good Job And Be Safe
Ps:documentation Of These Incidents Will Help Save You If This Ever Did Go Into A Fight.
Re: Handling threats in high school
Ohhhh, high school……
One time I put bleach on my fries cause a kid always stole them. Do you think statute of limitations is up on that?
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