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I am 20 yrs. old. My older brother (22), recently dislocated my shoulder and twisted my knee, because of this I have been limping for the past 3 days.
He often becomes angry and charges like a bull (punching while doing so sometimes), grabs any body part to pull me closer, and wraps his arm around my neck to put me into a head lock, he then rams my head into walls, or twists my arm with his left arm. trying to punch him while he charges or resisting has always failed and only made him madder.
I would love to learn some self defense, since I know nothing of fighting, but I cannot afford to take lessons.Is krav maga right for me? and can I learn it online or from a book without a sparring partner?
Re: help maybe?
quote morris:I am 20 yrs. old. My older brother (22), recently dislocated my shoulder and twisted my knee, because of this I have been limping for the past 3 days.
He often becomes angry and charges like a bull (punching while doing so sometimes), grabs any body part to pull me closer, and wraps his arm around my neck to put me into a head lock, he then rams my head into walls, or twists my arm with his left arm. trying to punch him while he charges or resisting has always failed and only made him madder.
I would love to learn some self defense, since I know nothing of fighting, but I cannot afford to take lessons.Is krav maga right for me? and can I learn it online or from a book without a sparring partner?
Krav would help, but it seems that your brother needs to seek help with anger issues.
Re: help maybe?
Haha good luck telling him that. Last time I tried to get him to change the station in the car he beat me up, rolled me into a ditch, and drove home.
Btw, he tutors the logic classes at my college if you can believe that.
Re: help maybe?
Ugh. That sucks man. Some purely hypothetical thoughts…
Next time he gets you in a headlock, if you’re on his right, instead of punching, you could use your right hand to squeeze his genitals with the intention of crushing them, and your left hand to either grab his hair or ears or eyes (keep your fingers away from his mouth so he can’t bite them). Yank him to the floor with your left hand (by his hair or ears or eyes) and then stomp once (hard enough to deliver a message but try not to maim him or cause internal bleeding) on his stomach or bladder or genital area. If you’re on his left, use your left hand to attack his genitals and your right hand to grab the hair or ears or eyes and proceed accordingly. When stomping, make sure to use the whole foot or the heel, depending on the size of your target.
Your overall intention is to discourage him from attacking you again and providing him with enough incentive not to. From your posts I’m making the assumption that logic hasn’t worked (which I assume isn’t great for his students) nor has appealing to the goodness of his heart. If that is in fact the case, you must now appeal to his capacity for pain. Your intention with the headlock defense is to render him unwilling or unable to continue the attack. Once you’ve done that and are safe, you’ve completed your task and your work is done.
You could also hide Windex or bug spray (or a legal amount of pepper spray) on you and burn his face and eyes next time he charges you. Follow up with strikes to his genitals and knees (but only if doing so won’t burn your eyes and face).
You could also kick him the face or teeth next time he charges you.
You could also bite him in the ribs next time he gets you in a headlock.
You could also hit him with a lamp or a vase.
You could also stab him with a pen (hard enough to really jam it in there) either in the bicep or the leg next time he charges you.
You could also call the cops on him next time he beats you up. Hell, you might be able to call the cops now and file a report if your injuries are bad enough.
Point is, whatever you do, you have to let him know how serious you are and that this stops now. I think we’re well past boys will be boys and brothers horsing around. I think we’re in the abuse and assault and physical violence phase.
Disclaimer: Again, this is all purely hypothetical. I’m not law enforcement and not exactly sure of the legality of anything I’ve posted here (I think it probably straddles a few lines to be honest), so please take that into account and try not to do anything that will get you in trouble with the law. The good news is that this forum is full of very cool law enforcement officers and trainers. Perhaps they can chime in. All I’m doing is telling you what one could hypothetically do in your situation.
Best of luck. Stay safe. Remember, soft targets on his body are your friend. Eyes, ears, throat, genitals.
PS — Without getting too personal, what’s up with your folks? Are they around? Do they know about this? Have an opinion either way? You don’t have to answer me or put that information on this forum, but letting them in on what’s happening is something to consider in terms of pros and cons.
PS — If you can afford it, yes, absolutely take one of the following (in person, not on video): Krav Maga, Jeet Kune Do, MMA, Muay Thai, boxing. This is a Krav Maga forum, so obviously I’d recommend that above all others. You could (and should) get the Krav Maga For Beginners book, but that is not a substitute for training, nor is any purely hypothetical advice you get on this forum.
Re: help maybe?
quote morris:I am 20 yrs. old. My older brother (22), recently dislocated my shoulder and twisted my knee, because of this I have been limping for the past 3 days.
He often becomes angry and charges like a bull (punching while doing so sometimes), grabs any body part to pull me closer, and wraps his arm around my neck to put me into a head lock, he then rams my head into walls, or twists my arm with his left arm. trying to punch him while he charges or resisting has always failed and only made him madder.
I would love to learn some self defense, since I know nothing of fighting, but I cannot afford to take lessons.Is krav maga right for me? and can I learn it online or from a book without a sparring partner?
Two questions:
1. Does your brother sleep?
2. Do you have friends?Re: help maybe?
quote Don:Two questions:1. Does your brother sleep?
2. Do you have friends?LMAO That’s should work as well.
Re: help maybe?
Call the law enforcement that has jurisdiction in your area. It takes time and experience to employ Krav, even though it takes less time to spin someone up in Krav than just about anything else (person dependent). Plus you have to recover from the injury you’ve already suffered, and you’re not telling us whether or not your assailant has any kind of training, which gives him at least a 3 month head start if it only takes you a month to heal and 2 months to learn enough Krav to effectively employ it in dynamic circumstances.
Re: help maybe?
I understand rough playing when you’re kids, but you guys are adults now. This sounds more like battery and you should get the police involved if possible. Krav will help, but as TacticalTimmy said, you’ll need at least a few months training. Krav is not a miracle pill.
Re: help maybe?
thanks for all the advice. I realize it takes months to get any good at a martial art, but I would love to learn, just so I am never in this position again.
But I guess I should start saving up for lessons first.
in answer to some questions:
-He has no training outside of movies, he is just a foot taller and 60 lbs heavier (around the middle).
-When he has me in his signiature head lock, he is usually behind me with his arm around my neck.
-When he starts fighting there is usually nobody else around. because he is a great lier, and the lack of witnesses, calling the authorities would lead nowhere. At least that is what i have been told.Re: help maybe?
Ooh Ooh, almost forgot: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CxW8TLtUMfM !!!
Seriously though, without really knowing your situation and family dynamics, I would pick a good time, sit down, and have a serious talk with him about what’s bothering you. If he’s not willing to respect you, listen, and change, IMO, he’s just a piece of sh1t (I’m kinda leaning towards that already from your description) who happens to be related to you!
It’s always good to be able to protect yourself against people who mean you harm and I recommend martial arts training for everyone who is a decent, productive member of society. That being said, if/when violence (e.g. mutual combat) does happen, there are many more negative outcomes than positive. Your best case scenario is what – you manage to beat him up, but not so bad that anyone goes to the hospital, things don’t escalate to serious violence/injury (e.g. weapons involved), no one gets arrested, no one else gets involved, he learns his lesson, and he never bothers you again physically OR verbally, (and he doesn’t do anything to YOU when YOU’RE sleeping), etc. ALL those things have to fall into place for “everything to work out”. So you’ll have to decide whether or not to take that chance by fighting with him (even if he totally has it coming!).
Do you have the option of moving out, living with other family/friends, putting some distance between you guys?
You ARE welcome to call local LE BUT they may be limited in what they can do. The violence may or may not fall under domestic/family violence (usually more serious) OR it might fall under just basic fighting (usually less serious). You may have to decide how far you’re willing to take the matter – do you want him to go to jail or prison or are you just trying to scare him (which is really not what we’re here for)? Are you willing to testify against him in court? You may have to press charges yourself and the door might also be open for your brother to allege you fought with him too and to press charges on you as well.
If you get some training, get pretty good, and decide to fight him, do NOT let him squash you down into a couch! Ideally pick a place with more space to move, stay mobile, hit hard and fast, and remember – if he opens it, he gets the Whole can!
Re: help maybe?
It being family really does make it more complex. His ability to pretty much wipe the floor with me has been an ongoing thing since childhood, but now it is just completely out of hand, and he does it almost every time we disagree on a subject.
I have heard of inserting my thumbs into the eyes of a head-locking attacker before, but I really don’t want to make him blind/stab him with anything. Also, if I do that, i’m worried he will tighten the hold on my neck ( I have almost passed out from it before). To be honest, I would love to return the favor and have him be the one on the floor too hurt to move.
Believe me, if I could move out, or if there were nearby relatives I could crash with, I would be doing that with the biggest smile on my face. Instead I am stuck sharing a room with him for another year until I transfer to a 4 yr college.
Re: help maybe?
There are ways to get out of a headlock without eye gouging or doing any permanent damage:
Headlock from the side
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KXbSDrLgdOkFrom behind.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sxB8DJqCQkE
^ This one is a different variation from what is taught at KMW with the leg wrap around and throwing motion. I will need to try this out for myself to see if I like it better.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQhRdcGnT0M
^ This one is more similar to what is taught at KMW with some slight variations. He doesn’t really emphasize that the defender needs to do a downward plucking motion to the choker’s hands as he tucks his chin down towards the choke’s opening and doing the turn in motion at the same time.Just don’t let this happen 🙂
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QK3IjeVjHl0Get a friend and simulate the scenarios that your assailant does to you. This way you’ll have a better understanding of what to do when you’re under the stress of a real attack. Just remember that the pluck has to be explosive (fast plucking motion), not just a tug as your attacker is bigger than you and going strength on strength is not going to be effective at all. I’ll try to find an actual video of how KMW teaches it’s defense against a rear naked choke but hopefully this will do for now…
Re: help maybe?
If this thing has been going on for so long, I doubt that fighting would make much of a difference, except for making him even more aggressive towards you which might cause a worst situation either by accident or purposeful action. If you have the possibility, get some legal consultation with someone who knows how the system works in your area and explore the several options that you have (what could work, what would not and why), then decide on some legal action and take it. As Don said, it all depends on how far you are willing to take matters with this. I think the bigger question here is how long are you willing to let this situation go on for.
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