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Ok this is embarrassing it should not be but it is. I have never been athletic and so never really concerned with looking like an idiot because I can’t do something physical that your average person my size would normally be able to do. However I started training almost six months ago because I decided living in NYC it was time even at 55 to learn to defend myself. This was a hard step for me to take and I’m proud of it. I was doing ok at least better than I thought I would. I have been getting my fair share of claps on the back followed by the words good or told to my face that, that strike sucked you are not listening, etc. I have looked in on the next level classes gone to look at the workshops and so on and found them motivating. At this point I’ve been doing it long enough to watch most of the guys I started with move on to the yellow belt level. I am now starting to see people that have started after me move to the yellow belt level. Seeing these people move on has made me realize that I want more so I stupidly signed up for a yellow belt workshop and started working on all the moves. The day came up and even though from what I could tell I was the longest practicing white belt there I didn’t get past the first section of strikes before I was told I am not ready to test. I have not had a full nights sleep since that night. I can’t shake this feeling of embarrassment of all things it feels like my manhood is at stake something I never thought my gay self would say. The worst of it is that I still want to continue I just don’t know how? How do I get to the next level? How do I walk back into that room in front of those people and the instructors? How do I say to my family ok lets waste some more money we don’t have for me to learn what seems like something I am in incapable of learning.:dunno:
Re: Can’t get pass the white belt level and now I can’t sleep
For what it is worth, my take on it is that it takes people longer at certain skills than at others. I wasn’t able to test for level 2 until I had been training for over 8 months simply because of cardio. You can look at it as a challenge or as a failure, but how you look at it will determine where you go from there. I’ve seen people in my school who spent almost 2 years at level 1 before they were ready to test. Ask your instructor what you need to work on to pass the test. Is it technique? Is it aggression? Is it cardio? Krav is as much a mindset as a physical set of skills.
Re: Can’t get pass the white belt level and now I can’t sleep
quote Crash20:How do I walk back into that room in front of those people and the instructors?With your head held high, an open mind, and mind set of “let’s do this!”
One of the best students we had was a guy who failed his L1 test. He came back in with a more determined attitude than I’d ever seen him have, and on his next L1 test he owned the entire thing.
Re: Can’t get pass the white belt level and now I can’t sleep
Dont rush yourself. I think it was probably 10 months before I even took a Level 1 workshop, let alone a test. Even then, they flagged me on a few things I needed to tighten up if I wanted to test. Try not to let ego or “manhood” get the better of you. You’ll get there, it just might take longer for you than it does others (like it is in my case, if that helps). I never thought I’d get the hang of Level 1. Now though, it feels alot more second-nature. You’ll get there, just don’t quit, keep your mind open. And just think, how bad would you have felt if you took the test anyway and failed? It’s good the instructors directed you beforehand that you weren’t yet ready to test. Just go at your own pace, even if it takes longer.
Re: Can’t get pass the white belt level and now I can’t sleep
Funny enough, I actually think the bigger risk with krav maga is in progressing too rapidly through the levels at the expense of building a really solid base. It’s not about perfecting a bunch of techniques and ticking the boxes. It’s about getting stronger, improving your reactions, enhancing awareness, etc. The levels are proxies for these things. So here’s a new approach for you: take your persistence at white belt as a way to build the strongest foundation *you* can build. Measure your performance today against your performance yesterday. You are only competing against yourself. If you can track your own progress in small ways then you are progressing, period. And it is that mentality that might save your life. The baddie doesn’t care what color your belt is.
Re: Can’t get pass the white belt level and now I can’t sleep
The worst mistake you could make is to compare yourself w/ others instead of focusing solely on your own capabilities. People are different in so many ways (i.e. physically, mentally, learning comprehension, prior experience, etc.). You don’t have any control over other people, so why lose sleep over something you can’t control?
The only thing you have control / power over is yourself. I understand what you went through is frustrating and can be defeating. And I can type a plethora of cliches that coincide with the rest of the forum members who have already responded to your thread. But we’re all adults here – you know what you have to do – so do it. 🙂
Another perspective to consider is that certified Krav Maga school level advancement is notoriously difficult. They don’t abide by the wide spread practice of most other martial art schools / programs out there to promote a person simply because they’ve been at the school or a level for set time frame. This is obviously dangerous, fool-hearty, and worse yet gives the student a false sense of security of their true capability. People who have successfully passed the KM Level #1 exam know that they join a small fraternity of individuals in the entire world.
Re: Can’t get pass the white belt level and now I can’t sleep
Thanks All for the replies, I got my first night of full sleep last night. Still waking up thinking about it all. I am not one of those big dreamers and it is rare to find something I feel I want and need, so it is clear to me that for whatever reason this is something I want and I have to face it and figure out how to get it. I imagine if I were attacked it would be the same thing face my attacker and fight. So I guess the fight starts with walking back on that mat and taking class again. I think I will start with this late morning class.
Re: Can’t get pass the white belt level and now I can’t sleep
quote Crash20:This was a hard step for me to take and I’m proud of it.Focus on the above. It is a personal journey, not a competition. I know nothing about you, but my money is on the fact that you are better now than you were 6 months ago. And that you will be even better in another 6 months.
At least you are taking action.
Re: Can’t get pass the white belt level and now I can’t sleep
I didn’t pass my first attempt to test for the second level either.It happens.
Re: Can’t get pass the white belt level and now I can’t sleep
Like everything in life, you can’t compare yourself to others. You have to learn at your own pace. Don’t forget, six months is only a guideline – not a hard and fast rule.
Talk to your instructors (I find I say this a lot, mostly because I’m very lucky to have awesome instructors who are passionate about Krav and love to teach people who are willing to learn) They are your best resource – talk to one or two that you’ve trained with the most and ask them for advice.
If you are questioning your technique during class, call the instructor over and ask how you are doing – not only will you have assistance, you are also establishing a relationship with your instructors. The more they get to know you, the better they can help you learn.
Don’t give up Crash – once you pass your Level 1 test, you will feel an amazing sense of accomplishment! :woohoo:
Go back into that room and KICK ASS!!
Re: Can’t get pass the white belt level and now I can’t sleep
Ok I’m going to try my best not to give up. I went back on Friday in fact took two classes one at 11:45 am and then ran around the city doing errands doctor appointments etc and then retuned for evening class at seven. It was hard energy wise and emotionally. I’m having troubles shaking the fact that I think they think I’m useless. Class mates encouraged me not to give up and to sign up for the next workshop which clearly I’m not ready to do. I did ask more questions. One was how can i be accurate and not hit my training partner at the San he time. Still not sure how to create that. They I went up to him after class and asked how one can practice the 360 on your own since I’ve only fine it about three times in class. The rely was to ask the instructor to do it in class. He seemed a little out off when I said I’d done only three times. Then some of the guys mentioned that a lot of people come everyday and I generally go the times a week. So I’m going to keep trying I guess the over all question is is this something I can actually learn or am I wasting my time and their time and my families money. Also if it is attainable how do I maximize my time off. I know I have to practice but it is hard to know if I’m doing it right and something’s need a partner.
Re: Can’t get pass the white belt level and now I can’t sleep
I’m not an instructor – I’ve been doing Krav for about two years now – but I’m getting some red flags from your instructors’ responses to your questions/concerns.
You are going to class three times a week – and they are comparing you to people who go every day? That does not sound right to me at all. Two to three times a week is the recommended attendance for the KMWW curriculum. Not sure what your club or membership is like, but could they be pushing you to go to more classes so they can make more $$ from you?
Don’t forget that rest is an important part of training – don’t push yourself too much or you will risk injury and burnout. I can attest to this from personal experience.
You’ve been going to class three times a week for six months, and you’ve only done 360 defence three times in class? Again – does not sound right to me.
I’m hoping some of the instructors on the forum see this thread and can chime in.
Paging Kevin Mack and CJ’s Dad!Maybe send one or both of them a private message and get their advice.
Keep us updated!
Re: Can’t get pass the white belt level and now I can’t sleep
No i don’t think it is about more classes I’ve got the membership and can take add many as I like. It was a class mate that made that comment trying to explain why others might be picking it up faster than me.
Re: Can’t get pass the white belt level and now I can’t sleep
Hi Crash20, mind if I inquire about other things you’ve learned? Like driving or other sports? I just want to get a sense of how you go about learning new skills. It could be that you’re over-thinking each lesson. It could be that you are so overwhelmed with the desire to learn that you can’t see the wood for the trees.
Re: Can’t get pass the white belt level and now I can’t sleep
quote SCH_Thurston:Hi Crash20, mind if I inquire about other things you’ve learned? Like driving or other sports? I just want to get a sense of how you go about learning new skills. It could be that you’re over-thinking each lesson. It could be that you are so overwhelmed with the desire to learn that you can’t see the wood for the trees.Yeah thanks for asking. Diving is about the only thing I can say was no problem even parking. The hardest things were that my father taught me and getting on the highway. Things like riding a bike were hard and took forever I was always way behind other kids with that kind of stuff. I was a theatre major and until college where competition came into play more I usually had no problems but once the competition started I choked most often. Sports I shyed away from totally until my twenties where like most gay men I started to work out but could never commit to wanting to be big in my head I wanted to be huge but could never admit that to myself. Then in my thirties started wrestling which I was never good at but my size gave me some help. It ended badly with a very bad L Knee FX. So I am sure I am over thinking things. What goes through my head is one is this something I can actually accomplish with time or am I wasting my money. Two are they all thinking look at that week gay guy who can’t even throw a punch. Two will I actually have the heart or the stones to use this if something happens or will I have the nerve to put on gloves for the next level if I make it that far. so yeah I am a slow learner and I am most often nervous and for sure over thinking things. Then to add to it I keep hearing things like Krav Maga is bull ****, so I am never sure what to think? Thanks SCH
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