- This topic has 46 replies, 15 voices, and was last updated 18 years, 3 months ago by
.
-
Posts
-
I desire folks’ opinion on this-
Something I get concerned about from time to time when I’m talking to prospective students…if someone’s not concerned or afraid of being attacked, is it appropriate of me to create a greater awareness of the dangers one may face in an attempt to get folks training?
I detest fearful living. I can’t stand it when the newsmedia does stories that seem to be aimed at nothing more than making people afraid of salmonella, african killer bees, cholesteral, or the unabomber. If someone is blissfully ignorant of the need for self-defense, is it within my right to use fear as a motivator to get them to train if the fear wasn’t previously there, or does that go in the direction of manipulation?
That’s a great question.
I came into it powered by my own motivation. I’ve noticed in talking to friends, family and other Krav students that a person either \”gets it\” or doesn’t. Meaning either you’re aware enough to prepare for something like an assault without being paranoid *OR* you’re completely unconcerned and would prefer to remain that way.
If you’re the latter, I think there’s little chance anyone can motivate you to train in self defense. These are the kind of people (people like my mother and sister) who don’t give personal safety a second thought until something bad happens and changes their life. So a conversation with a Krav instructor would do little more than take up 10 minutes of their time. You could quote personal stories, statistics, etc., and it wouldn’t motivate them in the least.
So to answer your question about what’s appropriate, I don’t think it’s manipulative to state some simple facts (and you’re right, you’d probably be way less threatening than what we see on the news every day). Ultimately, you won’t be frightening anyone into class. They’ll either \”get it\” or they won’t.
I’m inclined to think that it would be in their best interest for you to attempt to enlighten them on the real dangers of the world we line in. That said if someone were intentionally trying to make me afraid just to get me to take their class, I wouldn’t give them my time, energy, or money to train me. So I guess my point is, YES try to help them realize that the world is not a nice place to be but do so in a tactful manner. Make sense?
If I go to a car lot I know I’m going to get the spiel. If I go to the mechanic, I know I’ll get the spiell there also. Not that what we say doesn’t carry weight, but to answer your question, if you go to a self-protection/defense school, people leave themselves open to our \”spiel\”.
My Wife, (yes I said my wife, I got married in November for all of you who follow my posts 😆 ) is the oblivious type of person. She refuses to see danger in many many situations and doesnt see why I do Krav or own guns.
She is so oblivious that she doesnt even take note of her surrounding or who is in the surrounding. Last night she came to class to pick me up after it was over, walked into the school, and didnt notice two of the students sitting on a bench not 7 feet away from her.
I have found it frustrating and completely useless to use fear to get her to realize how dangerous people/world are/is.
Someone said it earlier, either they will get it or they wont. You will just frustrate yourself trying to edumacate them.
Lots of good stuff posted here.
I’m going to substitute \”fear/scary\” with realistic scenarios. I think you can start a completely separate discussion about fearful living/traing in the guise of gruff, ego-driven, instructors.
In regards to creating awareness in general, use it accordingly. In regards to using it with potential students:
For me, its like marketing any other fighting system/MA, its in the presentation. If you were to explain the fun/utility of BJJ or Judo to a newbie, for example, you’d probably focus on things such as great conditioning, skills, courage-building, etc, while maybe paying brief lip service to the dangers of heel hooks/cervical locks or getting thrown on your head.
Also, its hard to convey awareness without training. If you run into difficulty, it may help to ask the person to watch/participate in a class.
Generally speaking, I think courage is tempered after aggressive training begins. Here is where many folks begin to see the risks of a low state of readiness. I think if you infuse realistic examples gradually, after giving them aggressive/fun training, people begin to understand. But every person is different, and will encompass the mentaility at different rates.
I mean, your homepage reads Self-defense, fitness, and fighting. First, understand why the person initially came to your school, then tailor the manner that you present the savage reality (no joke) for awareness. There is a likelihood some came merely looking for a hard workout, and you may completely turn the candidate away by beginning with violent dialogue. Or you might get somebody who is only interested in sparring, so who knows?
\”Someone said it earlier, either they will get it or they wont. You will just frustrate yourself trying to edumacate them.\”
😯 I hope my Geometry teacher didn’t think that way back in the day!!!
\”If you’re the latter, I think there’s little chance anyone can motivate you to train in self defense.\”
The great instructors don’t think this way 🙂 .
Oh yeah, and I hate to hijack but…
Dre shoot me an email when you can:
Now back to the discussion. 😳
La Revancha, if you could talk my mother and sisters into a Krav class, I’d be both shocked and thrilled. 🙂
My Mom thinks Krav is a waste of time and money. She actually said she went through all these years without knowing any self defense and did just fine. 😯 I believe she’s earned herself a firm spot in the \”just don’t get it\” category. She’s stubborn as hell too, so unless she has some underlying self motivation, nothing you say will push her into class.
Of course, this all changes if someone like her takes the time to look up a website and research self defense schools. There’s a spark of desire there.
Hiya All,
Key concept to get across: \”Low probability – High consequence\”
It’s why I have a smoke alarm even though I live in a building that survived the Luftwaaffe*.
Stay safe,
Al
* Albeit with some pretty major repairs. Didn’t burn down though.
I think it’s totally appropriate to present statistics, people should know what’s going on around them. I don’t think it’s appropriate to then use the statistics to incite fear, weaving them into a story or something like that.
I started Krav fully understanding that IF I were to be attacked, the overwhelming probability is that the attacker would be an idiot expecting an easy target, and would decide it’s not worth his time after I fight back. And at the other end, that if somebody really wants to kill me (very off chance), I’ll be dead before I know they’re trying to. There’s a huge area in between, and even though I think my chance of encountering it is slight, that’s where Krav training comes in. But I don’t really do Krav to train for that odd scenario that almost certainly won’t come up in my life, I train because it’s fun, it’s social, it’s mentally calming, all of those fringe benefits outside of the main SD objective. So maybe present those along with the statistics?
I wouldn’t just assume that it’s either going to be relatively easy to fight your attacker off or, on the other end of the spectrum, basically a quick assasination you can’t do anything about. There are so many scenarios in between and if you decide to study Krav Maga I believe it would make sense to have at least a reasonable interest in learning how to deal with all of them. With time you’ll learn that even in more complicated scenarios, you’ll still have a much better chance of surviving utilizing your KM skills. The socializing is great, but technically you could do that at other places, too. KM offers so much more….
I don’t think the teacher should necessarily terrify people with crazy horror stories, but I think it makes sense to remind the students that these techniques are designed to safe their life one day and the teacher should encourage them to take the techniques seriously while training. Telling some real life stories and, yes, frightening them a little, might help him to do that.
I definitely take a little bit more liberty with current students who don’t seem to get it, as far as sharing anecdotal stuff to have them understand the actual risks.
Lor, I think a lot of it especially for your mother is, depending on her age, most older women were completely indoctrinated with the idea that they were supposed to be nonaggressive. Even women’s lib didn’t do a lot to change the status of female athletes until much later.
I had an experience once where I was talking to a woman about the need for self defense. She helped a support group for victims of attacks, usually rapes. I asked her what that group taught people as preventative measures and she had no answer. They were only there to deal with things after the attack has occurred. After using that as a great example for self defense she actually asked me something like: \”what is the likelihood that the practitioner would become a future attacker?\”
After picking my jaw up off the ground, I told her that I had never once heard of that happening.
On a side note, she was from Boulder, CO which is lovingly referred to as 25 square mile surrounded by reality. I call it east Berkeley.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
