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Hello. I am a Krav student who has been training at the NTC for 3 years. I hardly post on this forum. However, my fiancÈe and I received some terrible news tonight, which has compelled me to post.
My fiancÈeís best friend was followed home by a stranger, held at gunpoint, tied-up, and then raped.
The good news is that she is alive, seems to be moving forward with her life, and the rapist has been caught (there is at least one other victim).
The bad news is that our friend was still a victim of a heinous crime: we are still concerned for her, and, because the news hit so close to home, we are feeling vulnerable ourselves.With all that in mind, there are a couple of things I want bring up:
1) Our friend, the victim, lives in Florida, which is where the crime took place. We want to encourage her to do Krav Maga. My fiancÈeís cousin survived a similar situation in NYC a few years ago. She tried Krav and it helped her tremendously. Does anyone have any experience with the Krav schools in Coral Gables and/or Davie? How are the facilities? Teachers? And how do the curriculum and teaching methods compare to the NTC?
2) Iíve been trying to get my fiancÈe to take Krav for 3 years to no avail. Itís just not her thing. Although she is not interested in doing something thatís so physically taxing, she is still interested in learning some basic techniques that would help her if she ever finds herself in a bad situation (all she has right now is pepper spray!). Can anyone recommend alternative women-self defense programs/workshops in the L.A. area?
Thanks.
My wife also refuses to do Krav.
Her and I both read a book called Strong on Defense by Stanford Strong.
http://www.townhall.com/opinion/books_entertainment/reviews/AmericaPetersonFrancis/140922.html
Someone on this forum recommended it a while back. The book is mostly about how to mentally prepare for the attack, and what to do when it happens. It is not martial arts, or even cheap shots. Its a book on mental preparation which is 90% of the fight anyway.
Anyway, she was happy she read it, and the conversations it sparked between us made us both feel better.
I know that is not exactly the answer you were looking for, but I felt I should share since we have a similar wife situation.
So it’s just the physical demands that bother her? Or the whole idea of learning something as \”brutal\” as fighting? I know it’s tough for some girls. I remember the friend of a Krav instructor, who would absolutely refuse to participate in class.
I wonder if there is any way to make her ease into this. Maybe work more on technique first, letting her get the idea, then slowly becoming more aggressive with the combatives… Maybe you could practice with her at home, just the techniques, go easy, get her interested, then go for a trial class.
Other self-defense systems might show her different techniques, but in the end the idea of fighting for your life or fighting off a rapist is not a pleasant one and so learning certain combatives and using them with aggression will be necessary to successfully defend herself if God forbid she should ever find herself in that situation.
So, maybe try gentle persuasion. A nice evening out in exchange for trying a Krav class perhaps? 😉
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I am sorry to hear about yout friend. I think with no training, dealing with a weapon and being bound there is little she could have done (in terms of fighting). I also doubt, based on personal experience, that any knid of martial arts class now will help her recover (way too soon). Chances are that she needs counseling and time to feel safe again. A self-defense class will be too much to deal with right now.
However, regarding your girlfriend and something for her to watch or read. I have even posted here with the same intent. My girlfriend calls KM \”my thing\” and has no interest in learning self-defense. I researched extensivly and watched and read 10 or more books and vidoes on the topic to find something that she would actually like and was good information. I recommend the following book and DVD, they are each the best I’ve seen (she claims they were good 2)… IMO every women should own both…
1. http://www.nosexualassault.com (a home training DVD for women..probably exactly what your looking for)
2. the gift of fear (classic book on the topic)Sorry, but a \”technique\” video, geared towards defending against sexual assaults is not what anyone, especially a neophyte, needs. Where’s the psychology of the attack? Where’s the behavioral delivery system? This appears to be a purely physical video, with no attention to the dynamics of such a brutal attack. This \”simple\” syllogistic methodology is just very lacking, especially in terms of sexual assault. In context of a system, as support material, that’s one thing, but exclusively…
Besides, a straight arm bar? That’s what you give a woman who doesn’t want to train (via video, no less)?
Ryan,
first, have you seen the video? We have and it is pretty complete. I understand your point about the arm bar, but these are just graphics. The training, content, and production are all first class. I recommend buying a copy and checking it out yourself before dismiss it out of hand.
BTW, I love my KM vidoes and the video on those and the artwork is really cheesy (no offense to KM) too. With MA videos you have to get past this stuff. Most I have watched were filmed in some lame \”karate babysitter’s\” dojo. This company is on a professional set with trained models and real (albiet cheesy) artwork.
I share your reservations about watching a technique video and feeling trained. That is why I also recommended \”the gift of fear\”. The DVD does deal with prevention, mindset, awareness, etc.. it encourages practice and more training. However, you are right in your assumtion that it is mostly techniques (mostly how to move, position, and reverse on the ground). No single course, much less video, will meet the expectations you seem to have set in a training course.
Anyway, I do not want to argue with you. I just feel strongly after seeing the video that it is what most women should get in a MA class about rape prevention. Like I said I watched plenty.. this one is the best I’ve seen. I’m curious, what would you or anyone else recommend?
I don’t really care about production values, graphics, etc.–I care about content, as well as the presenter’s ability to transfer the knowledge. The KM videos, IMO, are not designed to \”stand alone\”–they are supplements/guides for training.
I simply don’t agree that a \”techniques\” video, supposedly geared towards sexual assaults, is appropriate for a woman with no training, who doesn’t want official training. I expressed my objections, and since you’ve confirmed what I already believed, I see no reason FOR ME to purchase the video. It is up to others to decide, but in this context, I think it’s poor advice.
Although I certainly have not seen the video mentioned here, I have to agree with Ryan based on the trailer. Maybe he can suggest something else… but I too struggle with the idea that someone who isn’t interested in training could watch a video of essentially BJJ techniques and protect themselves. I saw a triangle choke, straight arm bar, and the trailer ends with an oma plata (omo?). The triangle and arm bar aren’t too hard to learn, but the oma plata is really tricky, and all of the moves must be practiced again and again to gain any sort of proficiency, let alone the ability to pull them off under the tremendous stress of an attack.
Besides KM (obviously), Ryan – any thoughts on Senshido or something else for this situation?
From the webiste of \”NO!\”:
\”It’s a unique DVD, because it responds to the fact that the vast majority of sexual assaults are perpetrated by someone the victim knows,\” said Brian Young, President of Metamorphosis Productions. \”ClichÈ approaches such as ‘poking the eyes’ and ‘kicking the groin’ are difficult even in ideal training, much less with an acquaintance in close quarters.\”
‘No! – Empowering Women’ delivers more than twenty-five easy to learn, easy to practice, instinct driven sexual assault prevention techniques. Armed with this video every woman has a fighting chance.\”
\”Easy to learn\”? \”Instinct driven\”? Arm bars and guillotine chokes, coupled with positioning and transitioning?
I also love the comments about kicking the groin and \”poking the eyes\”. How is it difficult to perform an eye gouge at bad breath range?–that’s where it’s most effective! The FACT that these encounters happen more often with acquaintances furthers the need for psychological and behavioral delivery systems.
Anyway, we’ve been here before, with this same video. If you want to learn arm bars, guillotines, shrimping, etc., I’d go to a good BJJ school or get a BJJ video. If you think this video has something to offer, go for it.
JT, I don’t want to advertise here, but I have videos and materials from many different sources, and if one wants some support materials, when void of a KM center, or in addition to their KM training, I’d be happy to offer recommendations. My e-mail address is [email protected].
Answer to one of the first questions. For training in the Miami/Coral Gables area I highly recommend training with Rick Blitstein. He is listed on the locations page.
bring your gf to the NTC since you train there. Let her do a \” guest\” class and see if she likes it. My gf got hooked doing the Bag class, now she goes to Level 1 classes and she loves it.
You could also show her some techniques on your own since you have been training for 3 years now.Re:
quote \”rich f\:Answer to one of the first questions. For training in the Miami/Coral Gables area I highly recommend training with Rick Blitstein. He is listed on the locations page.I agree on that. She can contact Rick via email and she can remain anonymous.
Hope she turns out OK. I also hope your girl would learn from her friends experience. I’d like to get my wife to go as well but \”it’s not for her\”
As far as rape defense goes, there’s this option:
http://www.1stlinesecurity.com/smfry90vomis.html
I just obtained one- its about the size and weight of a cell phone. Tomorrow I’m going to try it on myself to see if its any good. There’s lots of small weapon options, but each requires at least some training. I used to think knives were a good women’s self defense option, but it may be psychologically difficult to use. These are good and require only a little training:
http://www.jamesakeating.com/catalg3.html
The stinger is a good force enhancer and doesn’t have the mental or legal issues of the knife. There’s degrees of force- you could hit someone in the solar plexis, or in a very serious situation you could punch out someone’s eye. The protector is cool because its also just a light. There’s also those kubatons, but they require some more skill in my opinion. Those \”ninja\” keychains seem like a viable option, but they’re incredibly awkward.Speaking of legal services, has anyone tried prepaid legal services? I heard you pay around $25 a month. Despite the cost, I heard it’s convenient and a quality attorney is available 24-hrs. for any incident (even identity theft) you get involved in, whether criminal, civil, or traffic. Costs money but can pay off in the long run. Considering getting started on that.
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quote \”CLFMak\:As far as rape defense goes, there’s this option:
http://www.1stlinesecurity.com/smfry90vomis.html
I just obtained one- its about the size and weight of a cell phone. Tomorrow I’m going to try it on myself to see if its any good.I am curious about the update on this. You should video tape it!
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