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Women who have been abused/and or raped may not be able to go to a KM class. At my school there have been women who walked out and never come back after seeing what grappeling looked like. Having never been a victim of rape, I figure better to have a big friendly guy I know on top of me for practice now, but for someone who’s been through it, such excercises can trigger BAD PTSD.
Videos are nice, but IMO, useless. I’m an athletic girl, played lacrosse, run, mt bike, lift weights regularly, etc. Point being, I’m not weak in the upper body. But female socialization against violence is SO strong that it took a couple weeks of classes to really be able to throw a punch/elbow with all the force I’m capable of. There is a huge psychological barrier that only real (in class) practice can break through. Maybe in a real situation adrenaline would make a difference, but I doubt it. Just something to consider. FWIW, I do not understand the unwillingness of some women to protect themselves, it annoys the hell out of me.
I think people should really try and get over this whole \”grappling looks like sex\” thing. If there are some girls, who are uncomfortable going with guys, they could maybe work with another girl at first. Also have the teacher explain the reasoning behind all of those scary-looking positions. For self-defense purposes having at least some basic groundfighting skills can be crucial, so it would be too bad to miss out on grappling instruction, because of these kinds of associations.
It seems in more the best interest of a recovering victim to ease them into such training. Regardless of how silly it sounds to us, giant, I’m not sure an instructor can rely on anyone else other than him/herself to change the perception of grappling, or any other misperception of an observer.
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quote \”Guerriere\:For a woman who’s mainly concerned with rape, IMPACT or a rape-prevention-only course could be useful. KM’s focus on responding after something’s already started is a little intimidating…I’m taking the Core IMPACT course in February.
Truthfully, I was (still am sometimes) intimidated by the idea of both IMPACT and Krav. As stated earlier, women aren’t taught to really punch and kick, and I can’t tell you how many times I fight the urge to pull back and say, \”Whoops! Are you okay?\” when I really hit my partner. And I know I’m not hitting with the strength of a man, yet my reflex is to be apologetic.
IMPACT, though a course with women only, makes me nervous because we’ll be dealing with more ground attacks…specifically the \”waking up with an intruder straddling you\” scenario. I know I *need* to face this, but it makes me anxious just the same.
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quote \”Giantkiller\:I think people should really try and get over this whole \”grappling looks like sex\” thing.Actually, that point of view would make it a little easier for me (I hope that doesn’t come off trampy ~ I don’t mean it that way.). 😆
Grappling scares me because I know I’m going to be dominated by a bigger, stronger person. It’s hard to willingly put myself in that position. I will, but I need a little time to psyche myself up for it.
Our instructor has a grappling seminar coming up. I can’t bring myself to do it yet (I’m still pretty new), but eventually I’ll get in there.
Yeah, it sucks having a much bigger guy putting all of his weight on you and being barely able to breathe! But it could happen in the street, so it’s good to get used to it in class and learn how to deal with it, or how to escape.
You could maybe practice with another girl at first, just to ease into it, before you try it with the guys. Or maybe with your boyfriend? 😉
bad place
Lor,
Don’t be too fearful of this grappling thing. Giant made a very good suggestion to use another female if you feel the need. But you do need to face this soon. When grappling, don’t worry about anything but the techniques used to escape or nuetralize your attacker. The more you practice ground techniques the more comfortable you’ll get. BTW, I’ve seen plenty of guys get intimidated when ground drills come up. Especially when they have to go against someone with more experience or ability. So try to look past the things that you don’t like about it, then become very proficient at the techniques you learn. IMHO…..
Also, many BJJ classes are very technical. You practice the technique first, without any resistance, then for the last 15 minutes or so you can spar if you want to. If you’d rather continue practicing, you can do that, too. So you can really take it easy at first, until you feel more comfortable.
That’s good to know.
The way I see it, it’s unavoidable. As a woman, I figure it’s more common for a guy to overwhelm me with his body weight, which means I’ll end up on the ground eventually. I’ve heard of guys punching women to knock them out, but that’s more a guy-to-guy thing. More often than not, you hear about a woman being dragged, forced, pinned, etc. That’s something I need to prepare for.
I was reading about grappling a few days ago when I found a reference to yoga of all things. One guy was quoted as saying people who do yoga are at an advantage because they’re more comfortable in contorted positions. 😆 I hope that’s true!
\”which means I’ll end up on the ground eventually.\”
Be careful with the self-fulfilling prophecies. This comment nears defeatism (if that’s a word!) You should certainly learn basic grappling/groundfighting. That said, don’t assume that you’ll end up there, since it’s the last place you want to be in a self defense situation. By learning to grapple, you’ll better understand how to avoid it.
I’d love to assume that someday my skills will be such that I have a good chance of staying on my feet ~ or recovering my stance ~ in an altercation, even with someone much bigger than myself.
And I’ve decided…if \”defeatism\” isn’t a word, it should be. It worked well in the sentence. 🙂
I’ve read that a good number of successful grapplers incorporate yoga into training. Aside from the benefits of learning how to breathe and relax in odd positions, things like bridging exercises muscles you use in grappling.
And there’s nothing wrong with asking if your partner’s OK after hitting them- at least if you’re not supposed to be striking them during the drill!
One of the best things about Krav is that hitting your partner, even when the drill doesn’t call for it, isn’t horrible. It’s a fight, we expect to get hit, that’s why we’re here. Not that I don’t apologise ever, but I don’t worry about hurting someone unless they’re new.
The other thing I love is that, once you’re in it, grappling has absolutely nothing to do with sex. I can roll around with the guys, and the only thing on anyone’s mind is how to attain top mount, get an ankle lock, stuff like that. Unless someone goes into grappling expecting it to be sexual, it doesn’t cross their minds that it could be…it would seem that even someone with that expectation would see things differently after just a few minutes of ground work.Lor, it’s great that you’re coming to terms with everything. So many girls don’t, even as a general population and not victims in particular. One of my coworkers is going through the police academy and said at the beginning that she wasn’t sure if she could handcuff someone if they were struggling, but when I offered to show her some techniques, she declined.
You’ll also get better at taking hits from larger attackers, as you mentioned getting overwhelmed by a man’s weight. I routinely work with guys who have 100lbs on me, and have yet to get taken down by a punch or kick, just moved back a step. The other part of what you mentioned, getting pinned, forced, etc., is that quite often, groundwork is easier with a larger opponent, as it’s based on momentum. Once you get them started, their weight will keep them going in that direction, and it’s harder for them to quickly shift their weight to avoid the maneuver.\”I’ve read that a good number of successful grapplers incorporate yoga into training.\”
Excellent!
\”…it’s great that you’re coming to terms with everything. So many girls don’t, even as a general population and not victims in particular.\”
It’s terribly easy to sit back and say, \”Yeah, but I’m a girl. I *can’t* do this, so why bother trying to learn.\” Just last week, my mother asked me why I started Krav. I told her I wanted to learn how to defend myself properly.
She replied, \”Why? I don’t know how, and I’ve managed all these years.\”
😯
Even more surprising, my *father* thinks it’s a waste of time.
(Okay, we need at least BBcode enabled. Anyone know why it’s turned off?)
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